As I write this I’m lay in the tub. I can hear the rain outside and it sounds as if the children have finally gone to sleep. I’m surrounded by glitter and theres a nice smell in the air…(i am surprised at this as most smells make me gag at the minute). I can feel and see my baby squiggle around. It’s nice. I’m relaxed.
The past three days have been emotionally draining and I’m feeling it physically. Today has been particularly harrowing and i’m not gonna lie, I’ve cried alot! Who’d have thought lots of crying and feeling a bit blue could tire you out so much and make your body feel so battered. Oh- also I had an injection in my arm today too which feels like someone, possibly the hulk, punched me very hard!
This evening I’ve learnt something…well it’s nothing new, I’ve just been reminded…. That age old saying ‘count your blessings’, isn’t such a boring old saying, it may well have saved me from going mad this evening.
It’s been hard to focus on those blessings. Today I found out that a friend of mine lost her new born baby. Why should I…how can I even begin to think about blessings when I know that my friends heart has been ripped to shreds.
I’ve been praying, crying, calling out to God, crying some more, wishing almost!? Thinking about my baby, fearing the future and crying a whole lot more…theres not been much time or space for thanking God for the blessings.
Yet – I felt I needed to just find one and focus on that, for fear of heading in a downward spiral of hurt, anger and sadness.
So as I lay in this tub I’m counting my blessings and it’s helping. Slowly. There’s nothing I can do but pray for my friend. What else can I do.
I figured in life you will probably have more days like this. Maybe as a vicars wife you may see more things like this, being on the front line, as it were, with your spouse. So finding a way of coping is probably quite useful. I’m not saying counting your blessings is the magic cure to everything. It may not even help – but right now it’s helping me.
I’m thankful for the blessing of this bath bomb.