On Sunday morning – I lay in bed struggling to get out. It wasn’t that my oversized pregnant body had given up on me. It wasn’t that my in-laws bed was just too darn comfy (let me clarify…I wasn’t cuddling up with my in-laws..they let us stay in their room when we visit and they go in the spare room…we’re close, but not that close!!) It wasn’t that my MIL was looking after the children and I was taking advantage of those few extra minutes of peace…It was oddly because we were heading up to visit our new home that day…and I didn’t want to go.
It was strange because I’d been looking forward to that trip for ages and now it was here, I couldn’t face it. It was all getting very real and I was scared of all the emotions seeing our new place would bring.
I did eventually get out of bed and we drove the 3 hours from my in-laws all the way there and as we pulled up outside our house, with a lump in my throat, I just stared at our new home, I couldn’t take my eyes off it…(which must have been weird for the people currently living in it, thankfully they were out!!).
I know, it sounds like i’m making mountains out of mole hills and being slightly dramatic, maybe I could blame the hormones…but I was actually scared.
In just a few short weeks, that house will be our home – for the next three years – it will be ours.
Up to that point of moving in…our lives will have been relatively normal, normal jobs, normal home on a normal street, normal school, normal church goers…it’s almost like that day that we move in to that house, we step over the threshold of being a regular family, to being a clergy family and all that entails.
I began to feel unsettled, like there’s no going back. I thought about that blog post I wrote ‘hot air balloons and noisy hedgehogs’ and how I longed for a sense of peace about the whole situation. I wasn’t feeling that peace that i’d been praying for. I felt slightly lost and it wasn’t because I was in an unfamiliar city. Had we made a mistake?
As the day went on, we spent time with some new friends- they made us feel completely at ease. We actually went into our new home and did some measuring! Our children played happily with some of their new friends.
It was then that I finally found that peace! – I saw it in my husbands eyes as he bounded up to me in our new house like a friendly excitable dog saying, ‘I’m so excited! I’m so excited!’. I saw it in my daughters eyes as she played with a child like they’d known each other for years. I saw it in my son as he so casually interacted with people he hardly knew, none of the nervous hanging off mummy and daddy’s leg…he just got straight in.
All the unsettled feelings went away. It was easy and happy and peaceful.