I’m hoping this post doesn’t turn into a ranting long list of all that’s wrong with my little world right now, but I felt I should probably write this to…I guess to show that chosing to live your life completely for God and trusting him in all and through all, isn’t as idyllic and refreshing and chocolate boxy as it sounds…but thank you Jesus-we’re just days away from the end of June and we are still alive!
Well this past month has been chaotic to say the least…from various members of the family being unwell, small pregnancy complications, our world being an absolute nightmare where news stories make me shudder. To annoying landlords, sad goodbyes and noisy hedgehogs! (Seriously those cute little blighters caused me a sleepless night!!)
I have not been the best wife, mum, friend, human being, Christian.
This journey towards…wherever we’re headed…has been tough and it seems to be getting tougher!! I spoke to a current curates wife recently and I came away feeling drained and quite scared…this had nothing to do with her as a person, but just the thought of what is to come, we talked a lot about her experiences….
You know though…It doesn’t have to be that bad does it? Can we make it what we want it to be? I get that there are frustrations with ‘the job’ as it were, but can we put things in place? For example, I’m terrified that I’ll never see my husband or the children will never see their dad because he’s so busy with church stuff…so perhaps having a date night and a family day and sticking to it would be a good idea? Is that realistic? Or not…will those times be shattered by some nagging church warden wanting to talk about flowers, or even worse…the death of a church member, where he just has to be there. No questions asked.
I’ll have to share him. I know that. But, is it really as bad as I’m making out? There have been millions of vicar’s wife’s throughout the ages and people are still doing it, I guess it’s bit like childbirth…painful and scary, but totally worth it and we recommend it to others…sometimes anyway.
I may have said this before but, where we live at the minute, we often get hot air balloons coming over. I love watching them float past, they seem so quiet, slow and peaceful, probably a different story if I was actually on one!…but they make me feel peaceful, which is just what you need at the end of a busy day. With just 5 weeks left until we make our big move to vicar school, amongst the chaos…I’m praying for a bit of peace. Peace over the packing and sorting…(our house looks like a jumble sale), peace over my husband as he finishes work and tries to contain his excitement and impatience!, peace over my children, all 2.5 of them, as they probably pick up on the tensions, peace over myself as I get ready to say goodbye to our lives here and say hello to completely new life as a vicars wife to be, and finally peace over our future, what ever it brings. May we find Gods peace.